Week 3 Day3
Laying down your Isaacs
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:22-24
Surrender: To give oneself up, to yield to the possession or power of another. Submit or yield.
Let me pose a question to you that I was recently asked: What is it that you love more than Jesus? The answer seemed relatively easy for me…nothing, or so I thought, until I prayed and asked Jesus to reveal to me what it was that I loved more than Him. Begin today’s lesson by praying. Ask God to reveal to you what it is that you love more than Him.
I attended a women’s conference, where I was to present two talks. This would also be the first time that I would be teaching a lesson that I had written. I prayed and worked on these lessons for several weeks before the conference. I was nervous, but ready. I wanted to find out once and for all if writing and speaking was part of God’s calling on my life. I was tired of questioning my calling and felt that participating in this event would give me some answers.
I really felt God was pushing me to step out in faith and do this, but, as time drew near all my insecurities and fears began to surface. Just hours before I was to give my first talk fear took its toll. I began to pray to God for help and reassurance and I asked Him to use my voice and His Strength to give His message. After several deep breaths, I finally started to relax and feel somewhat reassured and comfortable with what I would say.
About two hours before my first talk while looking over my notes in the busy hallway of the hotel, my phone rang. Not recognizing the number but assuming it was one of my four children, I answered. To my dismay and shock, the person on the other end of the phone was calling to inform me that my ex-husband was suing me, yet again for custody of our two sons.
This would have been the fifth or sixth time that he had done this to my family since our divorce. Having been remarried for almost seven years, my husband and I have spent thousands of dollars in attorney’s fees to fight this never ending battle. This has been a major financial burden, which has taken a tremendous toll on our family. My husband and I have remained strong through the major part of this ordeal, but there are only so many attacks a marriage can take before it begins to struggle.
The pain and heartache of this tug of war was reaching its breaking point. My husband of seven years finally said enough and put his foot down. He was throwing in the towel, not on our marriage, but the battle with my ex. He made the decision that we would no longer fight this fight. It was wearing him out emotionally, mentally, physically and financially. If we didn’t quit, it would begin to cause severe damage to our marriage. Most of the money used to fight this battle was borrowed and we were still in the process of paying it back. The debt we had accumulated only compounded the stress and anxiety in our marriage.
When my husband made this proclamation and put his foot down, I could feel my stomach jump immediately into my throat. The thought of losing custody of my boys made me sick. I couldn’t begin to imagine my life without them every day. I was terrified at the loss of them; but on the other hand I was terrified at what my future might look like if we didn’t stop fighting this battle. The battle I was fighting was raging within me and Satan was attacking from all sides.
I was holding on to both sides of the rope and the tug of war was now between me and God. I needed to let go of the rope and let God take over. I thought I had; but deep down inside, my grip was still holding on tight. I was begging God to please just let this go away and was pleading with Him to not take my boys. I kept trying to tell myself that His grace was sufficient; but, honestly, I have to tell you I couldn’t make myself believe it.
I hung up the phone feeling powerless and defeated, not at all sure what to do. I was confused, distraught and now, two hours before my talk, extremely distracted. My emotional boiling point was about to explode. What was I going to do? The reminder of our finances and my sweet husband’s declaration of no more, was weighing heavy on my heart, not to mention the thoughts I had about losing my precious boys.
I sat down, put my head back in the chair, and closed my eyes. I thought to myself that Satan knew exactly where to aim his arrow. He knew the target that would cause the most damage: the three things that I love the most, my husband, my kids, and my relationship with God. Then it hit me. I sat up opened my eyes and had the realization that those three things were out of order. Earlier in the day, I had been asked the question, “What do you love more than Jesus?” Unsure, I began to think and I ask God to reveal the answer to me. I can honestly say, I never expected Him to answer so quickly.
I now found myself, an hour or so before my first talk, needing to repent and surrender. Still bewildered by the phone call and my future, I was a total mess! I got up and headed to a prayer room that had been prepared for the women at the conference. As I entered, I felt uncertain as to what God and I could resolve in such a short amount of time.
As I approached the front of the prayer room, I saw three tables. Lying on the tables were pieces of paper with the names of God written, on them. On the names of God were the names of the six hundred ladies attending the conference. I began a desperate search for my name among so many, and began to doubt that it was even there. I kept searching the sea of names, and before long, there it was- my name. My heart was pounding so hard I thought it would jump out of my chest. My name sat on the name of God that I needed to remember in that moment, the name Jehovah Jireh, “The LORD Provides.”
Relieved at the sight of my name and the reassurance of His provision, I then began to ask the Lord, “What does this mean?” Looking closer at the Scripture captioned beneath the words “The LORD Provides,” I read the story of Abraham’s offering of Isaac as a sacrifice to the LORD. I knew immediately what God was asking of me. He was asking me if I loved Him enough to sacrifice my boys, my marriage and my ministry to Him. Ultimately, He was asking me if I was willing to put Him first and trust Him with everything dear to me. Jesus was asking me if I loved Him more. Deep Breath… “Yes LORD I do.” In that moment, I fully surrendered everything to Him.
In this story, Abraham’s faith was tested and now so was mine. Like Abraham, I too had made a covenant with God years ago, be obedient and follow Him. But the road blocks of my past kept me from moving forward to being fully His.
In the prayer room, I found the nearest altar and began to ask God for forgiveness. I surrendered my boys to Him and cried. It was difficult and the pain was deep. I knew that they where His and that He loved them more than I ever could. Oh, how my heart ached! As painful as this was, I knew this was what God wanted from me. I then spent a few minutes taking communion and honoring Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross. Slowly I began to feel the peace of God sweep over me.
The time finally came for my talks and God confirmed to me that I was doing His will. There is no more confusion, frustration, or doubt raging inside of me. I am at peace. This is truly the peace that surpasses all understanding. I don’t think many people will ever understand why I surrendered my children. I still love them with all my heart; and, if God chooses to take them, it will break my heart. But I love Jesus first and have faith that He knows what is best for them.
The next morning after the conference, I sat and read the whole story of Abraham and Isaac. As I read, I came to the part were Abraham believed that if God took his son, He would bring him back, I began to pray and ask God to do the same. Lord, if you do take them will you bring them back to me?
My pain was so deep that the tears fell like rain, but I had to fully surrender my boys to God. I closed my Bible and went upstairs to get ready for the day. As I passed by my mirror, I saw a woman who was broken and completely taken to the end of herself. I said out load “God, why is this so hard?” In that instant, the Spirit inside of me said, “Don’t you know that I know how you feel? I sent my own son to a place that was not the best for Him because I love you more.”
As I began to process all that had happened, I realized that God knew my heart’s pain. He had already done the very thing He was now asking me to do. Because God loves me He sent His Son away and gave Him to be a sacrifice. This was the first time I had ever felt God’s heartache for His Son. I laid down my Isaac, and I am forever changed.
What is it that you love more than Jesus? What is your Isaac? __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Open your Bible to Genesis 22: 1-18 and read the story of Abraham and Isaac.
Remember back in week one, we learned that Abraham waited twenty five years for God to give him his son Isaac. Isaac was the offspring in which the covenant promise God made with Abraham would be fulfilled. Can you imagine the thoughts racing through Abrahams mind as he leads his teenage son to his death?
In verse two God tells Abraham to “Take your son, your only son Isaac whom you love” and offer him as a sacrifice. Read John 3:16
Compare Genesis 22:2 and John 3:16. What are your thoughts? __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The story goes on to say that Abraham did just as God told him to. In Genesis 22:6 it states that Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and placed it on his son Isaac. Read John 19:17
Compare Genesis 22:6 to John 19:17. What are your thoughts? __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Abraham truly believed that if he were to sacrifice his only son Isaac, God would bring him back from the dead. When Abraham reached out his hand with the knife, God called out from Heaven telling Abraham not to lay a hand on the boy. Abraham was found faithful once again in God’s sight.
God knew that the only human sacrifice that would be sufficient was His only son whom He loves. Like Isaac, Jesus would then carry the wood, the cross that He would be sacrificed on. I love how God gives us glimpses of Jesus in the Old Testament. He was there with the Father from the beginning.
Wrapping up
Surrendering everything to God is just the beginning of an amazing journey with Christ. Several months after the conference, God chose not to take my boys. My ex-husband decided to stop all litigation and by God’s grace we have seen this battle come to an apparent end. The beginning to the end started with complete surrender. Abraham was willing to do whatever God ask of him, even giving God his only son.
Let’s close today like we did yesterday, in prayer. Surrender your Isaac at the feet of Jesus today. Ask Jesus for forgiveness for putting your Isaac before Him. Then lay your own Isaac down in complete surrender. Pray and cry out in the name of Jehovah Jireh, the Lord who provides to give you all you need to surrender everything once and for all.
Experience all that Christ has to offer you in this moment, feel His love for you. It’s only when we surrender all we have to Christ that our gifts will and can be used to their fullest potential.
Be blessed my sister, be blessed.
